Someone to Love

Are you someone who always puts others first? Ask others what they want to eat when you have a craving? Which movie to see? How does this look? I am. I always thought that this was a good trait to have. I am loving, compassionate, giving, and would give up my life for those I love the most. I hate to see others hurt. I want to fix their problems.

I just turned 29 and although I am not one of those afraid to turn 30 (I believe life is a journey and every day I have is am lucky to live) I do not want to go into 30 like I did 29. So with some deep soul searching and extremely tough love from the Mr. I am going to do something for me.

Things I want to change:

Always putting others first.
My weight.
Getting the job I want.
More time with my girlfriends.
Better Spirituality.
A passionate marriage.

I feel like all of these things have to do with my weight. I have totally let myself go. I do not exercise, eat right, and the tv is my idea of relaxing and time for myself. So in order to make myself get off of my butt I need accountability. I am not quite ready to share my starting weight. It is embarrassing and has kept me from going to the doctor. I do not want anyone to know how bad I have let myself get. So I will start with this:
tops: XL and XXL
pants: 16-18
panties: granny
bra: as big as my head

goals:
run

All the runners I know look fabulous. They have endurance and energy that I envy. I however, loathe running. I always have. How do people get in the zone and run forever. I mean really marathons. OMG. I have walked 5k's and even jogged a little of the way. Running not so much. I know I have it in me. And the worst is my husband can run forever and I am a baby just going for a walk. I need to push myself. I need to eat right. I know I am rambling but I need people to know.

My commitment is to do couch to 5K. You know where I run it, not walk. It is a 9 week program. In 9 weeks, I want to lose 30 pounds. That is a lot, but it wasn't too long ago that I was 30 pounds lighter. Time is on my side. I am young.

So this brings me back to putting others first. My kids and my husband will have to fend for themselves. I will lock the door and get my fat butt on the treadmill. When I build a little endurance I will begin the 30 day shred. This time for more than 2 days.

I will weigh myself weekly and share any loss on my blog. At the end of 9 weeks I will share my weight even if I do not lose the 30 lbs. If I lose the 30lbs before I will share my weight then too. It it definitely not my goal weight. But one I am not terrified to share.

I would love suggestions for healthy "easy to prepare" dinners, lunches, and such.

I NEED HELP. I know I have the most amazing friends in the world.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!!!